Sparkling diamonds and random assholes.02:59 Jan 16 2010
Times Read: 981
"Let's go shopping!" Ankh-Re's cheerful voice bounced through the phone lines.
"Shopping?" I asked, dumbfounded.
Ankh-Re chuckled. "We're going to the Autumn Ball, right?"
"Yes" I replied.
"Well" Ankh-Re continued "We need to get gifts for the host and find something spectacular for the Queen if she shows up...duh!"
"Of course" I said. I should have remembered that. Vampires were like the Japanese when it came to gift-giving. It was the expected proper thing to do.
"Today? Right now?" I asked.
"Yes. Today. Now."
The best shops were in San Francisco, so we decided to meet at Ankh-Re's loft. Since I never had the pleasure of going to his home, I was very curious to see his tastes and how he lived.
As it was mid-afternoon, traffic was light on the Bay Bridge. Stanley hummed a familiar tune as he drove. It made me laugh.
"Stanley - what is that song?" He gave a short laugh, then asked "Am I annoying you, ma'am? I'm sorry."
"No, Stanley - not exactly. You are quite entertaining...what was that song?"
'It's Zeppelin. 'In the Evening'" he replied.
"Oh" I said. "It seemed a bit different."
Stanley eyed me through the rear-view mirror, then said "That's because I suck...ma'am."
We both laughed. I asked him to turn on the radio instead.
When we arrived at the loft, Stanley parked in Ankh-Re's guest spot. I went up a short flight of stairs and rang the buzzer. The door was immediately open by Ankh-Re. He grabbed me in a bear hug, and kissed me on the forehead.
"Come in, love. I just need to grab a few things, then we're off. Look around - make yourself a drink if you want." I declined the drink, but was eager to look around. His home was spacious and very modern - industrial. There were books everywhere. Amongst the glass, concrete, and steel, were museum quality relics from home and abroad. I was relieved to see that Ankh-Re was still appreciative of art and knowledge.
When I peered into a seating area in an alcove, I was surprised by a giant triptych of Ankh-Re hanging on the wall. It appeared to be an Andy Warhol original. Ankh-Re walked up behind me, while pulling on a jacket. "I commissioned that back in '71 or '72. Cool, huh?"
"Yes. It is. Three giant images of your face in bright neon colors. It suits your ego perfectly" I said, sarcastically.
Ankh-Re laughed. He slung a messenger bag across his chest. "Let's go."
Stanley dropped us off at Neiman Marcus. Per Ankh-Re's earlier request, the manager of the fine jewelry department had arranged a meeting for us with a prominent diamond merchant - an elderly white-haired Jewish man wearing an impeccable black suit and a black satin yarmulke. Diamonds of assorted sizes and colors were already laid out on black velvet trays on the manager's large desk.
"This looks promising" murmured Ankh-Re. After the introductions, we got down to business. Since Makafisa had a fine collection of rare gemstones, we insisted on obtaining only those gems that would be almost impossible to find. The diamond merchant did not disappoint. Besides the beautiful diamonds, he also had rubies, sapphires, emeralds, and other colored gems. Ankh-Re scrutinized each gemstone with his own jewelers' loupe. He went crazy; he chose a huge ten-carat flawless white diamond with a princess cut, an extremely rare four-carat traditional-cut green diamond, and a huge ruby cabochon that glowed from within. The ruby was something that I would have bought for myself.
I found another red gem to present to the Queen - it was a flawless four-carat red beryl. The fact that the stone was usually found in small quantities and in small carat weight, made it a perfect gift.
As I rummaged through my large handbag for my wallet, Ankh-Re placed a black American Express card on the desk. He paid for my gem along with his purchases.
"I am totally capable of paying for my own shit!" I said, telepathically.
"I know" Ankh-Re replied, in my mind. "Just let me do this. Good grief...!"
The diamond merchant placed our gems in small individual velvet-lined black lacquered boxes. Ankh-Re then placed the boxes in his messenger bag. The diamond merchant handed Ankh-Re and I his business card, with a huge smile on his face. We thanked him and the jewelry manager, then left. Once we got outside, I commented on the price of the huge white diamond...it was a hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
"So what! Do we need to start counting pennies now?" snapped Ankh-Re.
"Of course not" I snapped back.
"Well, good then" he said. "The gemstones should cover our asses, right?"
"Right" I replied. "However, I think that I will need to find another gift to supplement the red beryl."
So, we shopped...and shopped...and shopped. And I was prepared to drop. Not from being tired, but from the tediousness of it all. I finally decided that I would visit the rare bookseller I knew once we got to New York, for another gift.
Ankh-Re and I 'slummed it' by having a late lunch at a MacDonald's. I love the french fries.
Then - we did more shopping. Stanley took us to the Haight Ashbury district; we went to shops that were off of the beaten path to find unusual items for Lord Fabien. I told Ankh-Re that I would also go through my vast wine cellar for a bottle or two of rare Californian vintages as well.
By the time we were finished with our shopping, it was dark. The homeless and street kids accumulated on the corners, blocking sidewalks - generally being obnoxious.
"Hey man - got any change?" asked one lanky kid with long greasy hair. Ankh-Re raised an eyebrow and looked down at the panhandler with disdain. The kid backed away quickly, and looked down at his worn army boots. We kept walking. We went around a corner into a dark narrow street - right into a gang. Which was odd...the majority of the city's gangs were in the Mission district, the Western Addition, and Hunter's Point.
Neither of us were afraid - taking care of a handful of cholos would not be a problem. Rather, we did not want to attract attention for what could possibly happen...
There were five of them, and they were Blood affiliates, judging from the red T-shirts and bandanas they wore. The 'alpha' cholo strutted up to Ankh-Re, eyeing the messenger bag. "Wassup!" he barked.
"The night sky" replied Ankh-Re dryly.
The cholo was not pleased with Ankh-Re's response. He pulled out a gun from his jacket pocket. "The bag, ese" he hissed. One of his companions murmured "He's a big-ass dude, man..."
"Shut up, ese" snapped the alpha cholo. "Blood can't fight no bullet!" His hand shook. "Gimme' the bag, man!" He glanced at me then said "And the purse too!"
Ankh-Re laughed, which unnerved the gang. "You want our bags? Come and get them." Ankh-Re smiled wickedly.
"Dude - I will cap yo' ass! I ain't playin'!"
Still smiling, Ankh-Re replied "So - go ahead and cap me."
The alpha cholo had to do something. He knew that if he backed down, he would be considered a 'pussy'. He would lose face and possibly his status. With a shaky hand, he aimed for Ankh-Re's chest, but shot him in the left shoulder instead. Ankh-Re stood as still as a statue, glaring at the cholo who just shot him.
"This is a two-hundred dollar shirt you just ruined, boy" he said matter-of-factly. With lightning speed, he had the cholo's back to his chest, locking him in a bear hug. Whatever Ankh-Re had planned, I wanted him to do it quickly, since the gunfire would have triggered calls to 911. Two of the cholos ran off into the night, while the remaining two stood as still as deer in headlights.
"Many of you kids these days have no respect" Ankh-Re whispered. With a clean efficient motion, he broke the cholo's neck. The gun clattered to the ground, followed by the thud of the cholo's lifeless body.
The two remaining cholos were rooted to the ground. One of them urinated on himself. I walked up to them, and gave each a resounding slap. Besides hurting and humiliating them, I was able to scramble their thoughts and memory with my touch.
Ankh-Re glared at them with glowing eyes. "Shouldn't you two be at home doing your homework for your remedial reading class?"
They took off running.
Ankh-Re chuckled. "Let's get the hell out of here before my blood hits the ground." While walking away, I called Stanley on my cell. He picked us up immediately, at the corner of Haight and Masonic.
Once we arrived at Ankh-Re's loft, we went into one of his bathrooms, where I pried the bullet from his shoulder.
"Fuck - that stings! The little bastard actually shot me." He shock his head in disbelief, as I taped gauze to his wound.
"You did ask him to 'cap you" I replied sarcastically. "And you could have moved in time to avoid being hit. You like to live dangerously, Ankh-Re."
"Oh well - it's just a flesh wound. It'll be gone within the hour...you want to stay for dinner?"
"No thank you - I want to go home. But I will take a rain check soon enough" I replied.
"Really?" Ankh-Re stood up. He slowly glided one hand down his bare chest. His eyes were smoldering. Damn.
"Really" I finally said. "I have had enough excitement for one evening."
"Isis - please. You hardly did anything. I did all of the work - what little work there was. And I took a bullet."
"I know. Thank you."
Ankh-Re sighed. "Well, I'll see you out. Let me grab a T-shirt."
He walked me to the car. Stanley already had the door opened, waiting patiently on the sidewalk.
'Say" asked Ankh-Re, as I sat down. "Did you get my poem?" His face bore the expression of an innocent schoolboy.
"I did, Ankh-Re. It was lovely. I plan on framing it and hanging it in my bedroom. Thank you."
He smiled, and closed the car door. As we drove off, I looked back to see Ankh-Re standing on the sidewalk, with his hands in his pants pockets. I waved, then adjusted my seatbelt.
"So - how did the shopping go?" Stanley asked.
"It went well" I replied. "It was the usual shopping experience."
© MFH 2010
COMMENTS
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Theban
11:01 Jan 21 2010
Thank you for this, it's really really good and like a drug I find the more I consume, the more I want! ; )
Isis101
18:13 Jan 21 2010
Besides recently making Sire, I find this wonderful comment...thank you so much, Theban!
bloodonblood
21:52 Apr 10 2010
Get a life off of here. You are weird and just what kind of help do you need?
Isis101
21:11 Apr 11 2010
Okay - I just sent this woman a message to let her know that this is a work of fiction...how did she miss it? Everyone else who reads it knows it is...duh.